Letter: UPenn E 16516

He who scrutinizes hearts and kidneys knows that it had never occurred to me to remain in Damascus for more than a short time, long enough for the community, may the Allmerciful keep them, to collect for me what He, the exalted, might grant, whereupon I would immediately return. But the community was occupied with the ransom of many captives, wherefore I had to remain for four months, until I received small amounts from the notables of the town and also took some loans here in Damascus, so that I could send something home for the little ones from time to time. 

Then news came of the pinch of the prices and the privations of our fellow Jews which coincided with the communal strife here and the pre- occupations of his excellency our lord, may his glory be enhanced. Finally, all I had collected, about twelve gold pieces, was used up, and I became destitute. Only a selected few of our fellow Jews looked after me and helped me out a little bit. 

At that time I learned that my boy Murajjā ("The Hoped for") had gone to Saida and that his mother had had him brought back on foot from there to Tyre on a Friday in a winterly rainstorm. I became exasperate, and, forgetting myself, I swore an oath that I would never enter Tyre until she would listen to me and send the boy to me to Damascus. In case she would not do this, I would repudiate her. 

My stay in Damascus has become prolonged thirteen months. I am lonely; I have no one here, except the mercy of God. I receive only little support, which is not sufficient for me alone, and only negligible orders for copying. Therefore I have taken upon myself protracted fasts and nightwatches and spared from my mouth what I could for the children. By now, however, no one has remained whom I could approach for orders of copying or for anything else, nor can I go back to you because of my oath. 

At present I do not even have the money for hiring a mount, let alone for anything else. And what shall I do with a family of six. Nothing has remained which could be sold, and hidden treasures I do not possess. Your holy excellency knows that all the silver ornaments and everything else belonging to the people of the house have been sold; likewise my clothing, my Bible codices and other books, as well as all the furniture. Things had come to such an impasse that I had to pawn the few remain- ing Bible codices with Fahd, the representative of the merchants, and with Fahd, the son of Fuhayd. And there are unaccounted debts not covered by collaterals. With what can I come back to the children and to an empty house, bare of everything. 

Moreover, this boy of mine is neglected, lonely, without proper food and clothing, no one is kind to him and no one looks after his education. It so happened that your illustrious excellence.... your anger (with me) has fallen upon him and you cut him. I am afraid the boy will get lost and perish. 

Now, if you, may God support you, see your way in graciously complying with my entreaties and send the boy to me, so that I shall be resolved from my oath, I shall travel with him in the company of R(abbi) Ṣemaḥ to the Land of Egypt via Ascalon. With your good fortune I shall collect whatever God, the exalted, apportions and return to you by the end of the summer, being 'under your hand' and in your service. If, however, your anger with me will persist and the boy will not come to me, I shall go away to the most remote places and the children will perish. But God bewares you from acting in a way inconsistent with your character and beautiful habitudes. 

Your excellency, my illustrious lord, the elder, may God support and protect you from the hand of any enemy or way-layer and let you overcome them, please approach his excellency and ask him in the most urgent terms to comply with my request. Perhaps, through your good fortune the boy will come. Thus you, may God consolidate your glorious reputation, will have saved my life and that of my six dependents. Who is more capable to achieve this than you may God never deprive me of your existence, and make you always one who is asked for favors, not one who is forced to ask. I put my hope and confidence in God and in you. And may Heaven recompense you twofold.